Dirty Deeds – Done with Sheep

More great political satire, featuring your favorite Bovidae, the #DemonSheep:

Favorite Quotes from Camille

“You who are so young — where can you have learned about women like me?”

Marguerite: His eyes have made love to me all evening.

Olympe: She’s not easy to get along with, I can tell you, ask anybody… and she has the reputation of being one of the most extravagant girls in Paris as well as one of the most insincere… She’s the kind who says one thing and thinks another.

Nichette: Marguerite, it’s ideal to love, and to marry the one you love.
Marguerite: I have no faith in ideals

Armand: I know I don’t mean anything to you. I don’t count. But someone ought to look after you. And I could if you’d let me.
Marguerite: Too much wine has made you sentimental.

Armand: Don’t you believe in love, Marguerite?
Marguerite: I don’t think I know what it is.
Armand: Oh, thank you.
Marguerite: For what?
Armand: For never having been in love.

Armand: I accepted her favors because I thought she loved me. I had her make sacrifices for me when there were others who had more to give. But bear witness, I owe her nothing. Take it, come on, take it! Buy camellias, buy diamonds, horses and carriages, buy moonlight, buy a grave!

Shuckin’ & Jivin’ at NBC, Yo!

From the “This Stuff Just Writes Itself” Department:

How someone, in this politically-correct charged society, could think this was a good idea is beyond me.

Thank gosh @Questlove, the band leader and drummer for The Roots (the house band on Late Night with Jimmy Fallon) tweeted this picture from the NBC Commissary at 30 Rock, with the comment: “Hmm HR?” –

Carly Fiorina – Ewe Blew Your Political Career

Carly Fiorina managed, in one fell-swoop to unite, on Twitter, Republicans, Democrats, Independents, and all those in between with one of the stupidest political ads EVER.

With hashtag games like #demonsheep and #demonsheepmovies, the sheeple had a bit of fun. Goodbye, Carly.

Chuck DeVore, on the other hand, came up with one of the wittiest comebacks in history.

Let’s hope this political season stays as interesting as it has already started out!

The 33 Strategies of War

From The 33 Strategies of War by Robert Greene, “an indispensable book, [which] provides all the psychological ammunition you need to overcome patterns of failure and forever gain the upper hand”

1. The Polarity Strategy:
   Declare War On Your Enemies – Learn to spot them; inwardly declare war. Your enemies can fill you with purpose and direction.
2. The Guerilla War-Of-The-Mind Strategy:
   Do Not Fight The Last War – Force yourself to react to the present moment. Do not repeat the same tired methods. Make everything fluid and mobile.
3. The Counterbalance Strategy:
   Amidst The Turmoil Of Events, Do Not Lose Your Presence Of Mind – Make the mind tougher by exposing it to adversity. Learn detachment.
4. The Death-Ground Strategy:
   Create A Sense Of Urgency & Desperation – Place yourself on ‘death ground’, where your back is against the wall; fight like hell to get out!
5. The Command & Control Strategy:
   Avoid The Snares Of Groupthink – Create a sense of participation without falling into the irrationality of collective decision-making.
6. The Controlled-Chaos Strategy:
   Segment Your Forces – Break your forces into independent groups; make them elusive & unstoppable by infusing them with the spirit of the campaign.
7. Morale Strategies:
   Transform Your War Into A Crusade – Involve your people in a cause; make them see their survival is tied to the success of the army as a whole.
8. The Perfect-Economy Strategy:
   Pick Your Battles Carefully – Sometimes it is better to wait, to undermine your enemies covertly rather than hitting them straight on.
9. The Counterattack Strategy:
   Turn The Tables – Let the other side move first, giving you the flexibility to counterattack from any angle.
10. Deterrence Strategies:
    Create A Threatening Presence – Be crazy. If your opponents are never sure what messing with you will cost, they will not want to find out.
11. The Non-Engagement Strategy:
    Trade Space For Time – Sometimes you can accomplish most by doing nothing.
12. The Grand Strategy:
    Lose Battles But Win The War – Grand strategy is the art of looking beyond the battle & calculating ahead. It will bring the ultimate reward.
13. The Intelligence Strategy:
    Know Your Enemy – The target of your strategies should be less the army you face and more the man or woman who runs it.
14. The Blitzkrieg Strategy:
    Overwhelm Resistance With Speed & Suddenness – Striking first before the enemy has time to think makes them emotional and unbalanced.
15. Forcing Strategies:
    Control The Dynamics – Move to control your opponent’s minds, pushing their emotional buttons and compelling them to make mistakes.
16. The Center Of Gravity Strategy:
    Hit Them Where It Hurts – Find what the other side most cherishes & protects – that is where you must strike.
17. The Divide & Conquer Strategy:
    Defeat Them In Detail – By separating the parts of the whole you can sow dissension & division, bringing your enemy down.
18. The Turning Strategy:
    Expose And Attack Your Opponent’s Soft Flank – Bait them into going out on a limb then rake them with fire from the side.
19. The Annihilation Strategy:
    Envelop The Enemy – Create relentless pressure from all sides and close off their access, then crush their willpower by tightening the noose.
20. The Ripening-For-The-Sickle Strategy:
    Maneuver Them Into Weakness – Create dilemmas; devise maneuvers that give them a choice of ways to respond-all of them bad.
21. The Diplomatic War Strategy:
    Negotiate While Advancing – The more you take, the more you can give back in meaningless concessions.
22. The Exit Strategy:
    Know How To End Things – Avoid all conflicts and entanglements from which there are no realistic exits.
23. Misperception Strategies:
    Weave A Seamless Blend Of Fact And Fiction – Control people’s perceptions of reality and you control them
24. The Ordinary-Extraordinary Strategy:
    Take The Line Of Least Expectation – Fix their image of you with the ordinary, then hit them with something extraordinary; the terror is greater.
25. The Righteous Strategy:
    Occupy The Moral High Ground – Question your opponents motives and make them appear evil; narrow their support & room to maneuver.
26. The Strategy Of The Void:
    Deny Them Targets – Be dangerous but elusive, then watch them chase you into the void; deliver pinprick bites & side-attacks.
27. The Alliance Strategy:
    Seem To Work For The Interests Of Others While Furthering Your Own – Create a constantly shifting network of alliances; sow dissention.
28. The One-Upmanship Strategy:
    Give Your Rivals Enough Rope To Hang Themselves – Life’s greatest dangers come from supposed colleagues who scheme to sabotage us.
29. The Fait Accompli Strategy:
    Take Small Bites – Swallow little territories, playing upon people’s relatively short attention spans.
30. Communication Strategies:
    Penetrate Their Minds – Learn to infiltrate your ideas behind enemy lines, luring people into coming to the conclusions you desire.
31. The Inner-Front Strategy:
    Destroy From Within – To take what you want, do not fight those who have it; join them, then stage a coup d’etat.
32. The Passive-Aggression Strategy:
    Dominate While Seeming To Submit – Go along, offer no resistance; hide aggression behind a compliant, even loving exterior.
33. The Chain-Reaction Strategy:
    Sow Uncertainty And Panic Through Acts Of Terror – Cause maximum chaos and provoke the enemy into desperate overreaction.